Yes, I'm a Proud Breastfeeding Mumma :)

During pregnancy, we read all sorts of things about the 9 months and the journey after that. I was no different. I was monitoring every change in my body and comparing it with the texts and the Internet, all of which helped me become more confident and prepared.

Amid all this, there was one thing that I read but didn't give much thought to. I considered it very natural and nothing to be fretted about really. It was during my second trimester, I was on a call with a relative and she suggested that I could leave the baby with someone when I go for shopping or even a vacation. I responded saying it wouldn't be possible as I'd be breastfeeding. The reply that came from the other end was, "How will you breastfeed when you won't have enough milk?"

That comment infuriated me. Naturally! But it also got me preparing for the worst scenario - what if I didn't have enough milk? And then, there were many things that I learned which I didn't know till then.

I learned that I had to be assertive and tell people at the hospital that I WANT to breastfeed exclusively.

I had to let those around me know that I'll make enough milk to satiate my baby and do not need anyone to measure it for me.

I had to get away from all kinds of negative people and thoughts that would affect my breastfeeding journey or make it stressful.

Was all of this easy?

No.

Of course, everyone around had their own views and experiences. What annoyed me the most was when people would question me whether I was giving my son top feed or not.

No, I didn't and why would I do that either?

The replies I'd get were infuriating and amusing at the same time.

"You'll get some rest while someone else feeds the baby with dabba wala doodh! (formula)"

"You'll able to go out, without having to worry about feeding your baby."

"The baby will not be clingy and get used to being away from you."

The reasons they gave were endless.

But all my well-meaning well wishers realised, sooner or later, that this woman will not budge. And she's better left alone.

I was sure that I'll exclusively breastfeed my baby till 6 months.

Was it easy? No. 

But it wasn't that difficult either. It did mean a whole lot of life changing decisions.

It meant that I be confined to my room for months with a newborn, trying to understand his feeding pattern, if not really predict.

It meant that every time my baby cried, eyebrows raised questioning if 'I was making enough milk'.

It meant learning time management better and taking a shower in 2 minutes, or better yet, postponing it endlessly to the next break between nursing sessions.

It meant sleepless nights with my baby latched on, while trying to adjust innumerable pillows to soothe a very aching back.

It meant waking up with pains and aches in your body and then sitting through another feeding session with your groggy self.

It meant restricting your outings or going to only those places where I could feed my baby.

It also meant meeting only those people who would understand that you cannot have a coffee without a nursing and a diaper change break.

It meant getting down to almost zero social interaction with minimal social outings.

Above everything, it meant being there physically and whole heartedly for your little one, at every time of day or night.

To say that breastfeeding has been a very smooth journey, would not be entirely correct. We had our issues latching initially. But yes, it's been the most fulfilling one. To know that I'm able to provide my little one with the best that I can, despite all odds.

I still wake up with an aching back every morning. Breastfeeding is a blessing I'm thankful for every morning and night. For when my son wouldn't eat, would be teething or would be ill, it still nourishes him and comforts both of us. While the health benefits of breastfeeding are innumerable, so is the inner satisfaction you get when you know you're providing your baby with the nourishment that only a mother can.

It has changed me. Yes. I've slowed down. No longer I'm multi tasking or juggling with several things at once. Even now, as we sit down for nursing, I'm reminded of how beautiful my life has become when those innocent eyes look into mine and give a smile that just the two of us share.

If given a choice, I would not change a thing about this phase of my life. It's beautiful and breastfeeding has made it even fulfilling. No, nursing isn't easier than giving your baby formula. Both are difficult, but then, raising a child is not easy either :)

So, here's to all beautiful mommies out there. Take pride in your breastfeeding journey and encourage every mother to do it for her baby.

Happy Breastfeeding Week, Mommies :)

Things I was Told Vs The Things I Did

As a mother, you are judged. No matter whether your child is a few days old or a few years, you'll always get those disproving looks from people you may or may not know. You'll be given lots of advice you may or may not need. And you'll be judged for every action or decision you take pertaining your child.

I didn't have it easier either. As a first time mother (ftm), while I was still grappling with my new life, I was told to do or not to do many things. And at times, was literally compelled to do things for the 'wellness' of my child.

Here are a few gems :)

Crying is good for the baby. Let him be. He'll learn to self soothe.
Really? I'd not leave an adult alone when they're upset or crying, let alone my baby. A baby needs the mother or primary caregiver 'all the time' and doesn't know what is self soothing. They need to be held, loved and made to feel secure and are not to be left to cry it out.

Don't carry the baby all the time. You'll spoil their habit.
I carried my son all the time till he started crawling. He would just not lie down, especially for his day naps and would cry murder the moment I put him down. Most of the time, I wore him while I went around doing my work and, eventually, mastered the art of doing everything with one hand. Today, at almost 18 months, he wants to walk and be on his own. If you try to carry him, he'd protest. The fact is babies don't always remain babies. They grow up.... too soon.

Top up with formula. You'll need it.
And why? Breastfeeding is the most convenient form of feeding I know. And apart from the nutrition it gives my baby, it gives him security, comfort, warmth and love.

Ensure he eats at least 2 times after 6 months.
Yes, I admit I gave in to this initially and regret it. But soon enough, I started following my baby's cues and understood that breastmilk or formula is and should be the main source of nutrition for the baby till 1 year. I let my baby explore food and followed baby led weaning. And trust me, I cannot be happier for taking this decision.

Extended breastfeeding will make the baby dependent and insecure.
To this, I'd say to come and meet my son. And if it's a problem that my son likes to be around with his mom or dad all the time, it's only natural for a toddler his age.

4 months? He should be rolling. 6 months? Not standing with support yet! One year old and not walking! OMG!!! I have become a pro at turning a deaf ear to such things. My baby sat without support at 4.5 months, but rolled only at 7 months and started walking at 14 months. Every baby is different. And I'd rather enjoy and celebrate every milestone than fret about it 'getting delayed'.

Don't rock the baby to sleep. You'll have to do it for years to come.
I've rocked and sung my baby to sleep almost till he was almost a year old. Then, suddenly, one day, he nursed, rolled over to the other side and slept off. And it has been like this ever since. I really miss the rocking and singing though.

Give the baby salt and sugar, else he won't like and neither eat regular food ever.
I gave absolutely no salt or sugar to my son till he was 1. There are enough research and studies that show how harmful these two things are. Hence, the lesser, the better. Now, though he eats the regular food that we eat, but if something is cooked for him separately, it's still without the two. He enjoys his food that way and eats what he's offered if he likes it or is hungry. And for those fretting about him getting less sodium etc, he gets it in natural form from various other foods, fruits and veggies, and of course, breastmilk.

Why don't you give the bottle?
Simple, because he likes having in his cup. And I'm proud of it.

Give cow milk. Breastmilk isn't enough!
It is, says WHO :)

Leave the child with someone else. They'll get used to it.
Yes, I'm a possessive mother, but I'd never let my baby not enjoy all the love and attention he gets from people who love him. If he's happy and comfortable with someone, and safe, I'll not think twice leaving him with them. That being said, I'll not force my kid to be with someone just so they get used to the idea. If he isn't happy, he wouldn't be forced to do it. 

It's okay if strangers want to hold him.
Really? Sorry, I don't think it's even worth answering why not.

It's okay to give junk food.
Junk is NOT OKAY. Period.

I've had someone offer my son Haldiram Punjabi Tadka Namkeen (very spicy) when he was 10 months. I turned around just in time and literally shrieked. And since then, never left my son alone with that person. Case of lost trust. For ever!

Again, extensive reading and research came to my aid and always does. Today, I am regarded as one of those stubborn mothers who doesn't listen or adhere to time and tested things (read as myths). And do I regret it? No. For the sole reason that I know 'what' I'm doing and am a part of strong networks of mothers who know their thing.

The most important thing I've learned is to trust my instincts and that no one knows my baby better than me. Because I'm the mother.

Be back soon.

Till then, take care and stay precious :)

Diet for a Breastfeeding Maa

A Maa who's exclusively breastfeeding her baby needs to ensure that she eats well too. It's not only essential for her, but also important to maintain the milk production. People ask me if I'm having enough dry fruits, ghee etc. And my answer is an absolute no. I'm allergic to dry fruits and I know I don't require dollops of ghee and butter in my diet. On the other hand, the diet needs to be well balanced and light. In the first six months, you cannot exercise; hence, it's the food you eat that will help you return to your pre-pregnancy weight. The key, here, is to have a regular diet plan which ensures you get the extra calories you need to feed your child, while keeping your weight in check.  

Many mothers have asked me for the diet plan I've been following. I have shared with a few, while I'm sure this will help many others out there too. This was given to me at the hospital where I delivered; and it has helped me tremendously in both, feeding my baby well and losing weight (YES!!!).

So for all new Maa's out there, here it is - a diet that involves 6 small meals which are light and good for breastfeeding. 

Early morning - 5 almonds, tea or milk with 2-3 Threptin or glucose biscuits (I skip the almonds though)

Breakfast - milk or milkshake, or cornflakes/daliya/oats/toast, or egg or paneer and fruit or fruit juice. 

Mid morning - lassi or juice or fresh lime with besan cheela or paneer cutlet or dhokla or moong dal cheela

Lunch - 3-4 chapatis or 1-1.5 katori rice, 1 katori veggies, 1 katori dal or soyabean or paneer and 1 katori curd and salad.

Evening - milk or milkshake with biscuits or peanut chikki or til ke laddoo or roasted chana or dates.

Dinner - same as lunch, but avoid rice. 

Bedtime -1 glass of milk.

So, basically, you need to have milk at least 3-4 times and could be as a milkshake or with daliya and oats etc. In case you experience bloating or acidity at night, avoid anything raw (such as salads) after 7 pm.  

Foods to Eat 

Sabudana, methi, fennel seeds, cumin, sesame seeds, tulsi, valaithi saunf or aniseed. 

Also, have plenty of fluids like coconut water, buttermilk, soups, lime water etc. 

Snacks you can have include fruit smoothies, idli, egg salad or sandwich, bhelpuri, roasted nuts, dry fruit, besan sheera, ragi roti and sabudana tikki. 

I personally ensure to have sabudana regularly, either with milk or as khichdi.

Avoid caffeine as it's passed into breast milk. Also, include vitamin c and avoid fatty or hard to digest food.

Following a good and healthy diet is important for a new mother as she needs all the energy and strength to cope with the new phase of life. As days and nights merge into one during the initial few months of motherhood (could extend to a year or two as well), finding some time for yourself and eating the right food becomes even more critical. So, yes, it's essential for your baby as well as you :)

Most importantly, stay happy and stress free and don't think too much. Breastfeeding is very satisfying and fulfilling and enjoy every bit of it as nothing can match this experience.  

Will be back soon. Till then, take care and stay precious :)

Breastfeeding - A Big Deal?

Image Courtesy - Google

This title would certainly raise many brows. Before I begin, I'd clarify that this post is not about being judgemental about whether you choose to breastfeed your child. It is only an attempt to understand why it's become such a big issue.

These days, every time I meet some family or friend, I'm asked whether I've started other foods yet or introduced the bottle. On being told that my son is exclusively breastfed, many are surprised while some are shocked. 'How do you manage? Don't you give a bottle at night either?'

To be honest, I'm equally surprised at such reactions. While I understand that many mothers aren't able to feed their baby due to less or no milk production or because they have to join back work, I didn't have any such reason not to do it. I work from home and am with my baby 24x7. Moreover, exclusive breastfeeding is the first and the most important thing I can do for my child. And if I can do it, then why not? As my baby grows up, I'll get back the long stretches of sleep but never will his first few months return.

Why is it that breastfeeding is considered so difficult now? It's not the baby's needs that have changed, but the life of a woman. We, now, have our jobs and careers, and a life beyond the walls of our home. And it does become difficult to cope with the baby's demands. Families, too, have become smaller and more often than not, there are no grandma's or others to help you with your household chores, which makes this even more tiring. Moreover, breastfeeding doesn't stop at 6 months, it is weaned off gradually and can go on till your baby is 2 years. Every baby is different and the weaning period also differs.

Breastfeeding your baby also puts many restrictions on you. For instance, I rarely go out now. And the first criteria for me to venture out for a long time is to check and ensure that the place I'm going to has space for me to feed my baby. If the latter is an issue or the commuting time is too long, I prefer not to go.

However, there are so many advantages to breastfeeding that can simply not be overlooked. Mother's milk is packed with all the essential nutrients and enzymes that are very important for your child. Moreover, all that immunity you've built in your lifetime is passed in to your child through breastfeeding. While formula milk may be an alternative, it can never be a substitute or a replacement. I know mothers who give their babies formula milk along with breastfeed just so that the baby gets habituated to the bottle. I personally feel that it's just not required. You have all the time to change habits, but those first 6 months are precious. Your baby needs mother's milk and that's all. Like my hubs says, "Breastmilk can never go wrong!"

Then there are others who feel that giving the bottle at night gives you longer gaps between feeds. The fact is that's not really true. Studies have shown that breastfeeding at night helps regulate the baby's body clock and they're able to sleep for a stretch, waking up only for feeds in between. Moreover, breastfeeding helps develop a sense of security that helps the baby sleep better. Of course, sometimes, my son just wants his mumma close to him and nothing else, but then I'm not complaining. The feeling you get when your child is so close to you is simply irreplaceable.

So yes, it is very demanding, but for nothing in the world would I exchange it. Because for me, this is my time with my son, and I'll never get these precious moments back when it's just him and me. One of the best things I can give to my son is the gift of good health and that begins with breastfeeding.

What do you feel about breastfeeding? Have you also countered questions about your choice to breastfeed or not? Do share.

Will follow up with a post on how underrated breastfeeding is. 

Till then, take care and stay precious :)