Raising Prabir - Humour All the Way

We had gone to see my skin specialist this Tuesday. The clinic is quite a distance from here and I was using the GPS on our way back.

At a point, the GPS voice-over said, "After 200 meters, make a U-turn."

Prabir immediately responded, "GPS Aunty, 'Take a U-turn. We need not 'make' a U-turn. It is already there!"

And like every other time, he had his Mumma almost rolling over laughing while driving. Dangerous...aint it! 

Raising Prabir - A Proud Moment

Last week, I needed to visit a bank branch. Usually, I run such errands when Prabir is in school; however, with vacations on, he went with me.

Now, we mommies tend to carry an entire pantry in our handbags because no matter when, the kids will get hungry once they are out of the house, even if they've just had their meal. So, while I was talking to the bank executive, came a very familiar hunger call from behind me. I quickly handed Prabir a little tiffin of snacks and he took a chair and began eating.

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, there was this little smashing sound along with a little cry. The entire tiffin was on the floor with the snack all over while Prabir stood frozen. Immediately, the executive I was speaking to told us not to worry as he'd get someone to clean it up. I went on to pick a little out of the way. By then though, my little boy was down on his knees, picking up each bit in his little hands. He then asked the executive where the dustbin was. The executive pulled back his chair back and moved the dustbin towards Prabir, who went on to pick every bit from the floor and put it in the dustbin.

All this while, the others in the bank, including the bank manager were watching Prabir. And I, a very proud mother, stood there smiling with a little lump in my throat. I, somehow, remembered to capture the moment much later. And I'm so glad I was able to.

It's these little moments that make it all so worth it. They reassure me that I'm doing something right somewhere. And they make me so so proud to be the mother of this wonderful boy!

In the picture is Prabir putting the last bit in the dustbin.

A Letter to My Son - On Your First Day of School

My Shona,

It's a big day tomorrow. It's your big day! For tomorrow, you begin a brand new journey that will teach you so much, carve and mould your personality and take you places. This journey also means venturing out from the comfort and security of your home, as well as the paranoia of your mumma.

You're super excited, as any toddler would be. You've ensured your bag is packed and picked the tiffin you're going to take too. In fact, you wanted to go to school right away (at 8.30 pm!), but this mother of yours put you to bed instead.

To say that mumma is excited wouldn't really be very apt. Your mumma is super nervous and jittery. If course, it might not be a big deal for others as every child eventually goes to school, but only you and I know how critical and big a moment this is for both of us.

We've not been apart for more than a couple of hours in all these three and a half years, and that too you've only been with your Dadda. To put it in short, we both are like Velcro, isn't it?

Your second home, your school, will teach you a lot and give you plenty of friends. I wish that you also learn the basic life skills as you learn what the books have to offer to you. Always be kind, betu, with everyone, irrespective of everything. And learn humility. No work is big or small, neither is any profession. Treat everyone with respect always, like you do now. Thank a person when you should and apologize when you need to. To make it big in life, it's important to be a good human first.

It's going to be fun out there, betu, and a little crazy too. While this journey is long and often challenging, it's super adventurous, I assure you! You'll tread new paths. You'll falter. You'll learn. You'll grow.

And as you spread your wings and embrace the teachings from your teachers and create new relationships, your mumma and Dadda will have your back always, at every step and in every decision. Put your heart in everything you do and believe me, the rest will simply follow. For only where your heart is, you can invest all the required time, dedication, and effort. As you strive to achieve your goals and fulfil your dreams, remember our love for you will not waver with your grades or your rank. You are our world and in your happiness, lies ours.

Go on, my little sunshine. Do not fret. Do not be afraid. This world is beautiful and will be even better as you step into it. Spread your love and laughter everywhere. Live every moment to the fullest and never cease to learn.

You are our rockstar! We love you!

~Mumma

Raising Prabir- Talking Shapes

Prabir (just now, looking at our marriage pic) - Mumma, woh jo tumhari shaadi ki photo hai uss mein aisi mumma kyon hai? (In that marriage photograph, why does mumma look like this?)

Me- kaisi thi mumma tab? (How was mumma then?)

Prabir - round round

Me- ab? (Now?)

Betu - Oval

I always knew motherhood reshapes you and your life completely. Hence proved!!

#RaisingPrabir #ToddlerTalks

😂😂😂😂😂

Teaching about Good and Bad Touch & How to say NO!

We, Prabir and I, were at a store looking at backpacks. While I was busy looking at the designs being shown by a salesman, Prabir was exploring the suitcases and bags kept nearby.

Suddenly, I heard Prabir say 'NO' pretty loudly. I turned towards him and he told me that the uncle was touching his cheeks and so he said 'No'. I immediately asked the salesman not to do it and picked Prabir and made him sit near me. Meanwhile, I also told him that he did a good job saying 'No' to that uncle.

If you ask me, I am a very proud mother since this incident. And I am happy that my son knows that he can say 'No' and that it's alright and that we have his back always.

This incident has also reaffirmed my belief that it is never too soon or early to teach a child about good touch and bad touch. I have always taught him the real names of all his body parts and keep telling him what is good touch and what is not and what he needs to do if anyone touches him where he doesn't like or any other place. We also have a little quiz session time to time where he asks me as to who all can touch or kiss him and I tell him a yes or a no plainly.

Call me paranoid, but I know that I cannot be with my son 24*7 always. I know that he will have to go out and meet new people and not everyone will be good, so to say. And I know that if my son knows how to deal with such situations, I will have to worry a little less probably.

On the other hand, I also do not like complete strangers pulling his cheeks and neither does he. Saying no to them probably sounds rude, but I'd rather be rude than polite at the cost of the comfort of my little one. Better still, I carry him. So, the closer he is to me, lesser chances of strangers walking up to harass him (Yes, I call this harassment! Would an adult like getting their cheeks pulled by a stranger? No. Then why a little child who can barely express their likes and dislikes?)

So, yes, when my son stood up for himself and said "No", all at 2.5 years of age, I was a happy mother. And I know that all those conversations between us, mostly one-sided, have been of use.

So, all parents reading this, teach your little ones about their bodies with the real names. Tell them about good and bad touch and teach them how to say No. Most importantly, respect them for saying it and listen to them.

It is one of the biggest life lessons we need to teach and learn too :)

Toddler Tantrums & Us

Scene 1

Day - This Monday
Time - around noon

Prabir, now almost 2.5 years old, broke the remote back cover and started throwing everything off the bed, which included my novel and his toys.

I reacted pretty harshly and demanded that he pick the book from the floor right away. To which, I was met with an utter stubborn behaviour coupled with screaming and wailing at the top of his lungs. I stood my ground and refused to budge. He, being my blood and soul, stood his ground and refused to budge too. And this ensued over half an hour of screaming, wailing, coaxing etc etc. I did try to negotiate and make the situation a little more favourable to him as my temper cooled. However, he did not relent. Finally,  after about 45 minutes that seemed like forever, I had to pick him off the floor as well as the book. Phew!

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Scene 2

Day- Today (Wednesday)
Time- around 11 am

A househelp needed a medicine for which I took out the medicine box. In no time, all the medicines were all over the bed, some being torn apart or in the process of being rigged out of their seal. The moment I reacted asking Prabir what he was up to, he threw the box off the bed.

I asked him to pick it up and yes, he refused again. So, I closed my eyes and pleaded a little birdie to come and help Prabir pick up the box so that we could play a new 'aim' game. The box was on the bed within seconds and then we both aimed all the medicines (tablets only) inside the box and kept it away.

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Would seem just another day to anyone. However, to a full time, stay-at-home mother, any such incident is good enough to trigger an outburst (which was what happened on Monday). It might seem trivial, but not when you're required to keep your calm every second of the day.

With your patience and perseverance levels tested every minute, it's hard to just smile and go through your day. In fact, at such times, I really need to remind myself why I am following gentle parenting and why not resort to a little spanking to set things straight. Thankfully, the better part of my brain and heart knows, even in those bleak moments, that spanking will not help and only make it all even more traumatizing for both of us.

The fact is that I know the workaround. I even know, well most of the times, what will help and what won't. Yet, I let my temper take over. Who benefits? Neither mumma nor the baby. It all boils down to endless tears and cursing myself.

So, yes, we mothers aren't perfect. While you may see us handling our little ones pretty well and think we have it all sorted, the fact is we don't. We too have those moments when we want to hide somewhere, away from the constant wailing and endless tantrums. We too have serious meltdowns and we can cry for hours for seemingly no reason. When we go down the guilt trip after behaving a little strictly with our little ones, we'd love someone to tell us that it's okay and that it's absolutely normal.

I write this after almost 20 minutes of dancing and rocking my son for his afternoon nap.... preceded by 20 minutes of running after him all over the house... preceded by 30 minutes of lunch in which he only wanted to eat watermelon seeds.....

I'm tired and we're not even half past the day. And that's me, almost every day. Whoever said motherhood is easy! But again, we always have a choice as to how to react to a situation and handle it.

I think a cup of coffee might help now :)

Toddler at home? Some Fun Ways to Engage Them!

So, I'm now a full time mother who works part time! When it comes to spending time in front of your system in office, hours fly by effortlessly most of the days, with colleagues and the boss ensuring you've enough to keep yourself occupied. But now, with no deadlines to meet or endless meetings and conference calls, days fly by even faster!

Yeah, it's my little toddler who keeps me in my toes (literally!) and wouldn't budge till he's not given his due attention. At times, it's difficult to match up with that level of energy. After all, I'm not getting any younger by the day. But there are some things they keep him busy for a few precious minutes, while I catch my breath.

If you're looking for ways to occupy your toddler for hours, be warned. Anything as 'long' as 20 minutes is considered phenomenal here. For toddlers have the attention span of a squirrel. Yeah, you know what I mean :)

A card of bindis - This by far is my son's favourite. He loves bindis and can play with them several times a day. I've kept a card of it aside and usually put back whatever is still usable from his face, legs and even the sheets!

A basket filled with random objects - Which toddler doesn't love exploring? And the more assorted the objects, the better.

Empty boxes and bottles - Cap, uncap, open, close, check, repeat!

Books - I keep a few books at an accessible distance for him and change them every couple of days. He picks one whenever he feels like to read and can now sit in a place for as long as 20 minutes while we read a book and look at the pictures.

Crayons and a doodle pad - When I first got him a set of crayons, people said it was too early. But he has loved them since the first time. He can now hold a crayon and make dots and lines and even attempts a circle :)

Shape sorting board - This is his latest fancy. He'd take out each shape and try to fit them back on the board. Another activity that we can do sitting in one place!

So, here are a few of the many things we do to make our days fun and interesting. C'mon mommies! Share your fun and engaging play time activities too.